The Punishing of Ally

This is a follow up to the Fantasy & Violation Story posted below.
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After a week of recovering from the gang rape, we finally got to the point where it was my turn to spring my surprise on Ally. I know she’d been anxious about what I was going to do since she’d had me viciously raped. As it had turned out, my agitation with her had practically disappeared, though, and I was no longer intent on doing as much damage to her as I had been planning when she picked me up. She’d been so loving and so tender in the days after that event, and I just couldn’t hold a grudge against someone I found so incredibly erotic and connected to so well. I made plans to take her clubbing with a little surprise at the end of the night to bring her visit with me to a close.

As we got ready to head out, I explained to Ally that she had to do what I said or the surprise will just stop and we’ll come home and that’ll be the end of it. She agreed to the conditions. Very soon after that, though, she began to realize that this was not going to be your usual club experience. Her first clue came when I explained to her what she was going to be wearing.

I gave Ally a fitted shirt that says “I <3 Pussy,” a leather thong, and a pair of 4-inch plats and ordered her to put them on. That’s it – no other pants, no jewelry, nothing else. At first she hesitated, knowing that she was going to be walking around in public with her ass out where everyone could see it. But when I reminded her about her agreement with me, and explained to her that it was not an option, she reluctantly put it on. The thong was a special one designed for bondage scenes, and had a lock on the back of it. I locked it to prevent her from masturbating at any point during this excursion until I was ready for her to cum. To top off the ensemble, I placed a leather dog collar around her neck, locked it into place, and attached the leash I would be using to lead her around. I also explained to her she was not to say a word to anyone unless I gave her permission to – even if they asked her a question. If I caught her talking to someone, she was going to be punished.

Our limo arrived shortly thereafter, and we walked out of house. One of our next door neighbors was out working in his yard, and his jaw hit the ground when he saw Ally’s lithe figure being escorted across the front yard with her ass visible. We hopped into the back seat for the half hour ride to the South Beach club area. We got out at Crobar, one of my favorite dancing spots. I had worked out the details in advance for our visit here tonight, so the bouncers let us in without having to wait. It was amusing to see the faces of the folks waiting in line as Ally got out of the car following me on her leash. I heard several instances of the word “slut” from the crowd. I could see her turn a dark shade of red. If she thought this was embarrassing she was in for quite a ride as the night wears on.

We went in and just walked around – I wanted everyone there to see my bitch. A few people reached out and grabbed her ass, and she kept swatting their hands away. Fortunately, I had prepared for this eventuality. I took out a pair of leather handcuffs and locked her hands behind her back. She could still move someone’s hands, but it would take a little more effort. So, here we were walking around Crobar’s dance floor, me looking good and Ally in her shirt, thong, collar and handcuffs, being led around on a leash like the little fuck slut that she is. People weren’t quite sure what to make of it, not that that mattered, of course.

I finally had someone ask us if we’d like to dance. I told him to hang on, and I handed Ally’s leash to someone standing at the bar. “Don’t let this bitch out of your sight. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” So I left her there with a complete stranger holding her leash and spent the next two songs dancing with a guy who was more interested in why I was leading the little slut around on a leash as opposed to the person he was dancing with. Asshole.

When I got back, Ally was talking to the guy holding her leash. This was a violation of the orders I had given her before we left – she had to be punished. I snatched the leash from the guy’s hand and pulled her over to the edge of the bar. “Bartender, can you hand me that piece of wood over there?” He handed it to me and I told Ally to bend over and move her hands. She did as she was told and I swatted her on the bare ass with the wood piece twice right in front of a crowd of about a dozen people. Everyone was laughing – they knew this girl was my bitch and that I didn’t mind punishing her in front of everyone if she got out of line.

Over the next hour or so, as people would come by, they’d ask me why I had this girl on a leash. I’d just explain to them that she was my slut and I thought she’d like some time out of the house tonight. And, as tempting as it was to let them have her, I had to turn down offers of a good bit of money for the use of my whore’s services. I told them to hang around, though, because they might get to use my whore later on if they were interested.

Eventually, a good friend of mine showed up. She was a dancer I worked with and was well known for her dominatrix stage routine – it always left jaws on the floor. She also specialized in creating unique and specialized bondage scenes in the Miami area as a “service” to paying customers. I had arranged for her to work out just such a scene for my little slut this evening – one that was sure to leave a lasting impression, in more ways than one.

We talked for a few minutes out of ear shot of Ally, and then we went into the rear bathroom, with Ally in tow. When we got in the room, Sandy asked, “Is this the little cunt you were referring to?”

“Yes, it is. Isn’t she a gorgeous little fuck toy?”

“She’s stunning. We’ll have to see about the fuck toy part of it, though.” Sandy leaned back against the wall, put her foot up on the toilet and pulled up her skirt. “Come here, bitch.” Ally walked over to her and Sandy ordered her to her knees. As she complied, Sandy pulled Ally’s face into her crotch and grinded her pussy on Ally’s face. “Does she know what she’s doing?”

“Oh yeah, she’s been eating my pussy for the past few days. She knows exactly what to do.”

Sandy pushed Ally’s head back and slapped her sharply across the face. “Show me you know what the fuck you’re doing, you stupid little cunt.”

Ally began eating Sandy’s pussy and was finding it hard to maintain her balance with her hands cuffed behind her back. Tough shit for her. Finally Sandy took matters into her own hands. She grabbed Ally’s head and grinded her crotch on the bitch’s face until she began to come. The orgasm was pretty powerful (I’d expect no less from someone I’d taught to eat pussy), and Ally’s face was covered with Sandy’s juices when she got done. She couldn’t wipe it off, though she tried to rub her chin on her shirt. The look on the faces of the women who were coming and going was priceless, though it certainly wasn’t the first time they’d seen two girls going at it in here. I bet it was the first time they’d seen a forced face-fucking like this, though.

“I am ready for her in the back. Let’s get her undressed and take her back for my pleasure.” I unlocked the lock on Ally’s thong, loosened it up and slid it off of her. The leather was soaked where her pussy had been. A good sign, I thought to myself. I stared into her eyes and said, “I’m going to enjoy the next hour or so,” and reached up and tore her shirt off, exposing her 34Ds. She just stood there with that “Fuck you” look on her face that she gets sometimes. I thought to myself, "You have no idea what you're in for, you fucking little cunt."

We walked back into the play room and Sandy led Ally over to the “rack.” The rack was a customized iron frame that Sandy had had custom built for her purposes. It allowed you to secure someone to it in any position, and allowed you to turn or bend them into just about any position you wanted them. This allowed for tremendous flexibility in what you could do with a human fuck toy. Ally was tied into a semi-spread eagle position, sort of resembling an “X.” She was there spread open for everyone to see, and it provided easy access to her dirty places. I left her there to go back out to the club as Sandy got ready for the festivities.

I went out to the DJ and told him to make an announcement and slipped him a twenty. Anyone that wanted to could come back to the play room and watch Ally’s abuse for the mere sum of $20 each, and that they might get to partake in the festivities. I really didn’t expect anyone to take me up on the offer, but in the end about 30 guys and a handful of women paid the $20 and funneled into the main floor area in the back room. An extra $600 or so for me! This is the most productive my little whore’s been since she got here.

When I got back into the special room, I could see Ally was watching every move Sandy made so I got a blindfold and placed it over her eyes. I whispered into her ear, “This is going to hurt you more than it is me,” and stepped back to watch. What I hadn’t told Ally was that Sandy was a licensed body piercer, and we’d worked out a nice little surprise.

Sandy turned a misting fan onto Ally, and the cold water sent chills through her body – you could see the chill bumps pop up as the beads of water began to form on her curves. Of course, this also had the effect of making Ally’s nipples erect, which is just the result we needed for the next step in this process. Sandy approached Ally and grasped her right nipple with a pair of forceps and locked them into place. Ally tensed up and tried to draw back, but of course the frame wouldn’t allow her to escape that easily. Sandy assembled her piercing tools and the jewelry, went up and began to pierce Ally’s right nipple.

“Take it slow. Don’t just push it through. Make her feel it.” I wanted it to go through her sensitive little nips slowly. She liked a bit of pain when she was fucking, and I wondered how this would feel for her. I knew that my first nipple piercing was one of the most painful experiences I’d ever had, and I knew how sensitive her nipples were.

Sandy very slowly pushed the needle through Ally’s nipple, taking a good ten seconds or so to get it all the way through her engorged flesh. Ally let out a long, loud scream and tried to pull back – that must’ve hurt. When she calmed down, I went over and squeezed it and asked how it felt. She just groaned. “That must not have been too bad. Let’s do the other one as well.” Ally shouted “No, please, no.”

“I vaguely recall saying that just as I was about to be raped, babe. Do you remember how much attention was paid to *my* plea?” I went over to the big table of toys and grabbed a ball gag. As I got up to Ally’s face to put the gag in place, a tear was dripping down her cheek. “That must’ve hurt. You still have one nipple to go, though, you fucking little cunt.” I slapped her across the face. “Open your fucking mouth, skank.” Ally meekly complied and I put the ball gag in place so that we wouldn’t have to listen to her shriek when her other nipple was pierced. The look of fear in her eyes was priceless. But I know Ally. She’d probably had an orgasm as that needle went through her nipple anyway. Still, it must’ve been intense knowing that the next nipple was going to take as long to pierce as that first one did.

I nodded at Sandy to go ahead with the left one. Sandy went up and did the same, slow procedure with Ally’s left nipple, eliciting a loud guttural moan from the tied up bitch. Once she got everything done I was fascinated by how sexy Ally’s tits looked with those silver bars in them. That was the first part of the preparation, though, and now it was time for the second part.

“Where are the butt plugs?” I asked Sandy. She pointed me to a table that had several different sizes of steel plugs on it. I picked out the third largest of the four on the table and a bottle of Eros and walked over to Ally’s naked figure attached to the frame. “Are you sure she can take that one?” Sandy asked. “Yeah, she had my strap-on cock in her ass last night. It’s about the same size.”

I walked over to the frame holding the slut and went around to the back of it. This thing had so many unique features, but one of its best was the fact that, when a body was strapped to it, the victim’s ass was easily accessible from the back. When I got to her, I slapped her ass as hard as I could with my open hand. I got down on my knees and gently nibbled on her butt cheeks, and then slid my tongue into the crack of her ass, massaging that little rosebud with it. I could tell from the scent that she was incredibly turned on by the proceedings, even though she might be protesting.

I lubed up two fingers and worked them into Ally’s asscrack, and slowly made my way down to her little brown starfish. I worked one finger in gradually, followed by a second one and just slowly penetrated her ass with my fingers. I pulled them out and lubed up the plug. At its base, it was probably almost two inches around – big enough to hurt but not so big that it wouldn’t go in. As I lubed it up I was fascinated by the wire attached to it. I was curious to see how these worked – I’d never seen an electro-stim butt plug like this before. I slide the cold piece of metal along the crack of Ally’s ass, and began slowly penetrating her little sphincter with it. In a little, then back out. Back in a bit more, and back out, fucking her ass with the plug to loosen her up. After a couple of minutes of this, I decided I was tired of this already so I just pushed the plug all the way into her ass. Ally’s grunt told me that the plug had gotten in and gotten seated. “She’s ready.”

Sandy walked over to Ally and attached electrodes to her newly minted nipple piercings, to the wire coming from the butt plug I’d just shoved into her ass, and then attached them to the power source. I know Ally had told me that she was sacred of electrical play, and she was about to find out just how stimulating it can get. Sandy cranked up the power on it until Ally began to react. “Do you feel the sizzle,” Sandy asked her. Ally shook her head in the affirmative. “That is the low setting cunt. It only gets worse from here on out.”

I can’t imagine what it must’ve felt like to have electricity coursing through your body from your nips through your ass. “Turn it up a couple of notches.” Sandy did as she was told, and Ally’s body tried to double over. “The more you react to the current, the worse it gets. That butt plug you have is specially designed so that when you tense up, it closes more of the circuits and the current gets much more intense. Isn’t that the coolest thing?” Sandy laughed.

“Can you think of any situation where your ass muscles will tense up, sweet face? You know, like an orgasm. Imagine what that electricity would feel like if you had an orgasm right now.” I walked over and picked up the strap-on that Sandy had put aside for me. The cock on it was made of cyberskin, and it felt almost real. I couldn’t believe how lifelike it seemed, and made a mental note to myself to shell out the extra bucks to get one of my own. I reached over and removed Ally’s blindfold. She looked down to gaze upon her freshly pierced tits and the wires attached to them.

I moved right up to where I was face to face with Ally and asked her if she wanted to cum. She couldn’t answer of course, but I knew she’d be tied between wanting to have an orgasm so bad, and the realization that if she did cum, the electrical current passing through her body was going to cause her some serious discomfort. What to do, what to do? I began kissing her on the neck, just as I had the past few nights we fucked. Her scent was an intoxicating mix of her favorite perfume, Classique, sweat, and Sandy’s crotch. As I moved closer to her, I let my simulated cock rest against her abdomen and moved it back and forth. “I know you want this cock, babe” I whispered to her, “And I am going to give it to you. Your cunt juice is running down your leg already, so I know that you want it badly. You’re so predictable. But then you are a whore, so I’d expect no less from you.”

I gazed directly into her eyes as I slowly penetrated her incredibly wet pussy. Very slowly. I wanted her to have to control her orgasm. Once I was inside her, I reached up and interlocked my fingers with hers, and moved my mouth right up to her ear. I wanted her to hear me breathing heavily as I fucked her. It was all I could do to keep from rapidly fucking her – I had to do it slowly. We were connected in our triangular bond, and before long I could sense a powerful orgasm was building inside her. I knew she was trying her best to hold it back to prevent the electricity from charging through her, but I also knew how to make her cum, and there was no way she was going to prevent it from happening. It must be frightening to want, to desire, to be begging internally for that orgasm, yet fighting it at the same time knowing that it is going to cause you great pain as well.

Finally, she let loose. As her body began spasming, it was simultaneously wracked with pleasure and pain. I continued to slowly pump her with the fake cock – in, out, in, out. Deeper, deeper, pulling out just to the point of withdrawing completely, and then slowly pushing back in. She came.

Her orgasm must’ve lasted a full minute. She contorted into every position possible while tied to the rack, and I’ve never heard some of the sounds she was making coming from a human. The spasms from the orgasm superimposed over the spasms from the electrical currents pushed Ally’s body to a sensory overload, and you could see it in her eyes, and I could feel it in her hands as they grasped mine with each wave.

As she came down, I reached up and wiped the long line of drool off her face and smeared it onto her chest. The audience we had assembled, and to which Ally was mostly unaware, began applauding and once again Ally was a deep, dark shade of red. As her orgasm subsided, she just hung her head and let go, spent from all of the energy she’d expended. She may have thought she was done, but we still had one more treat for her.

Sandy moved the rack into a position so that Ally was now horizontal. I explained to the guys in the audience that this is where their $20 made it worthwhile for them. Each of them would be permitted to jerk off and come on Ally’s face, or anywhere on her body for that manner – just pick a place. They were not to penetrate her, though. That was my treat alone.

The 30 or so guys formed a line, started taking their pants off and began masturbating. In fairly short order, a couple of guys announced they were cumming and moved around to Ally’s face. They exploded all over her face – they’d obviously been aroused by what they’d seen. Gradually, others began reaching that critical point as well. One by one they filed by our newly pierced little slut and splattered her with semen. A couple of guys came on her newly pierced tits, but the majority of them went straight for the slut’s face. By the time they were done, she’d had a little over two dozen loads of cum deposited on her body. She looked like a little white puddle of mush, and could no longer open her eyes.

We had her remain on the rack for about a half hour so the cum would dry. As she dried, Sandy began inking a tattoo on Ally’s pubic bone that said “C+A=<3”. I wanted to make sure Ally never forgot this event, and the tattoo was an excellent way to do that – twenty years from now, as she’s whoring herself out, she’ll have to explain to people why she’s got that tattoo. She started fighting it in the beginning, but when I explained that if she didn’t quit fucking around the tat was going to look like shit, she settled down.

Finally, Sandy completed her handywork – it looked awesome. As we took her loose from the rack, I pulled out another shirt I’d brought with me and put it on her, careful not to disturb the cum. She reached up and tried to wipe the semen from her eyes, and I slapped her hand away. I reattached the leash to the collar and put her hands back in the handcuffs so she couldn’t clean herself. She was still too exhausted to fight it much.

I had taken the liberty of canceling the limo for our return home, opting instead to ride public buses. As I led my little slut onto bus after bus as we headed toward home, people’s mouths dropped open at the site of the matted, cum-covered whore, the runs of mascara down her face, and her lack of clothing. I just sat next to her, holding her leash all the way home. Occasionally a brave soul would ask if she was sick. I’d just tell them that, no, she’s just a little slut and had a bit too much fun for the night. I am taking her home to spank her and put her back in her cage. It was hard to tell what her facial reaction suggested, since it had so much gunk on it I couldn’t even read her eyes.

We got home, and I untied Ally and told her to go wash all of the slut juice off of her. As she went off to do that, I checked my voice messages on my cell phone. Jessi had called and indicated that she and Ryan would be coming down to spend a week in Miami and wanted to know if we could hook up. Looks like I have some more planning to do.

Fantasy & Violation

Not be confused with "Fantasia and Variations," which is a musical composition.

I thought I'd pop back into my old blog to post a fantasy piece that I've written.

If you’re turned off by depictions of rough, brutal sex, or are susceptible to rape/abuse triggers, you might want to stop reading now.

What follows is a fantasy of mine. Some of you may find this disturbing (especially those of you who don’t know me very well), but it represents a scenario that I’d like to play out, at least in my mind, and it really gets me off. A lot of it is based on material I’ve seen in some seriously extreme porn. Like many people, I happen to enjoy vigorous or rough sex from time to time, and to me this is just an extension of that.

Anyway, read at your own discretion.

Fantasy and Violation

I had been looking forward to Ally’s visit for an entire month. After talking online for months about our mutual passion for really rough sex, she had finally agreed to fly over from the U.K. to visit, and we’d planned to explore our personal limits with each other. We had both arranged sexual “surprises” for each other, and I was anxious to find out what she had in mind for me. I nervously awaited her arrival at the airport and sadly, as I anticipated, her flight was delayed. Fucking airlines!

When her plane finally landed, I could hardly contain myself. As she came through the exit of the secure area and our eyes met, she got the biggest grin on her face. We embraced and welcomed each other, and I melted as I heard her British accent. I asked her if she was ready, and she said she was. She knew what I had in mind, and our lips met in a passionate kiss, right there in front of everyone. I grabbed her hand and led her to the bathroom. I was so giddy I could hardly contain myself. I had looked forward to tasting her ever since she told me she was coming over. And I wasn’t in the mood to wait.

I had taken the precaution of sticking a note on the last stall door that read “Out of Order” so no one would use it, and it was empty when we got there. I pulled her inside the stall and we kissed again - she had the faint taste of Jack Daniels on her lips. I broke off our kiss, turned her around, and pushed her against the door. “Grab the top of the door and bend over, bitch. I hope you followed directions,” I whispered in her ear. As she bent over and grabbed the door, I kissed her on the neck, sat down on the toilet, and pulled up her skirt. As I had ordered, she had worn a mini-skirt and no panties on her trans-Atlantic flight. I lightly nibbled and bit her on the ass, and stuck a couple of fingers in my mouth to get them wet. As I pushed them up toward Ally’s pussy, I realized that I didn’t need to wet them to begin with – she was saturated. I slid my two fingers into her pussy and found her sweet spot. As I did that, I pushed my face into the crack of her ass and started rimming her. The scent of her ass, after having been on a flight for several hours was musky, and it made me even hotter than I already was.

As I tongue-fucked her asshole and massaged her G-Spot, I could sense her orgasm already building. I pulled back and told her not to make a sound since Security would come in here and arrest us if they discovered what we were doing. She just moaned and grinded her ass back into my face. As her orgasm continued to build, she began to make some heavier moans. I decided just to let her make as much noise as she wanted and increased the pace of what I was doing. Finally, she let loose. As her orgasm overtook her, she reached down to masturbate herself, and that only made it stronger. Her guttural moans had attracted a crowd and I could hear people whispering outside of the stall. Ally’s orgasm finally subsided, and I pulled her skirt back down. I got up, pulled her to me and kissed her again. I wondered if she could taste her own ass on my mouth – if she did, she didn’t seem to mind. I took her hand in mine, and we walked out of the stall to the stares of a dozen or so women standing with their mouths agape and walked out of the bathroom. We walked hand in hand down to the baggage claim area and waited for her luggage. The two of us continued to make out periodically as we waited for what seemed like an eternity for her bags to make their way out, and then finally headed to our house. I’d never been possessed by so much sexual energy in my life.

That night and over the next couple of days, we fucked almost continuously, stopping only for the occasional bathroom and food breaks. Our approaches to life and sexuality were very similar, and we bonded as if we’d known each other for several years. We spent a good bit of time testing each others’ sexual limits, and I knew I’d found someone who could match me skill for skill in the bedroom.

On Wednesday it finally came time for Ally to reveal her surprise to me. She told me that her surprise was to take me paint balling with a group of guys she met on the Internet. I thought this was a terribly curious surprise and it certainly wasn’t what I had anticipated at all – I wondered if she’d misunderstood what I had in mind. Nonetheless, paint balling was something I’d told her I wanted to do when I got the chance, so I was intrigued that she’d planned something like this for us. Maybe the sexual part of it would come after we got done.

The next day, we got up late and took a shower together. I pulled the fucking towel rack fell off the wall in the bathtub again, but we managed to give each other the orgasms we craved and eventually got around to actually washing each other. We got dressed and headed to the paint ball field. When we got there, we were met by an instructor and the four guys that Ally had scheduled to play with us. Each of us was to be teamed up with two guys and we’d be playing against each other. The winner was to get attended to sexually by the other for 24 hours without being able to have an orgasm ourselves.

We got our instructions on how to use the guns and set off with our teams. As I ran past a grove of trees, someone got a shot off that just whizzed by my head. I didn’t even see where it came from, so I couldn’t return fire. I took a shot at one of Ally’s teammates but missed. I was eventually able to shoot Ally on the ass, not that the target was that big or anything. She yelped and took off with a huge red mark on her butt! After a few more minutes of cat and mouse, I noticed all three members of Ally’s team headed toward me. I turned to yell at my team to assault them, and felt a sharp sting on my neck. The last thing I remember is falling to the ground.

I awake to find myself hung up by my hands from the rafters in a barn, with nothing on but a collar of some type. As I come to, I feel a stinging pain on my stomach, and look down to see a splatter of yellow. It doesn’t dawn on me what it is until the second shot. Someone is shooting paintballs at me! Unclothed, I have no protection from the impacts, and they sting. Horribly. I scream out in pain each time a new one hits me. I haven’t had time to wonder what the hell is going on, but after regaining my senses a bit, I can see a group of about five people off in the faint light with paint guns. Why are they doing this? What the hell is happening to me? Why am I here? And where is Ally?

Finally, the shooters tire of firing at me and stop. I am immediately surrounded by four shirtless men and I recognize them as the guys Ally had assembled for us to paintball with. Two of them lift me into the air while a third one cuts the rope holding me on the rafter. I cry out in pain as the sensations in my wrist return. They cut the rope, re-tie my hands behind my back and force me down to my knees. It becomes apparent to me that I am probably going to be gang raped. I become scared for my life, and wonder what has happened to Ally. My mind goes into overdrive thinking about what is about to transpire.

I quickly realize that my collar is a dog’s choke collar as one of the guys grabs a leash attached to it and pulls it tight. I can’t breathe for several seconds and almost pass out before he releases the tension on it. He tells me that he’ll choke me into unconsciousness if I fight them, and that they’re going to fuck me to show everyone that I am not as good at sex as I think I am – I won’t be able to handle them.

“Where’s Ally?” I demand. One guy who appears to be the more dominant one slaps my face and I fall backwards. “Shut up, you stupid bitch.”

The guys pull out their cocks and begin jerking themselves off. One of them grabs my hair, pulls me up off the floor and toward him, and shoves his cock into my mouth, ordering me to “Suck it, you fucking slut.” He shoves it into the back of my throat, gagging me. I pull back. One of the other guys grabs my head and forces it back down onto the first guy’s cock while collar boy pulls the choke chain tight again to remind me that I’m not supposed to fight my rape. My arms hurt from being tied behind me.

After a few seconds, one of the other guys pulls me off #1’s cock by the hair and forces his cock into my mouth. The choking continues. “Choke on that fucking cock.” One guy grabs my boobs and twists my nipples, then slaps them. Hard. Other guys take turns slapping my face with their cocks. I become aware that someone is videotaping what is happening to me. I am horrified, yet surreally enthralled by the thought of people seeing me like this. My excitement is tempered by the fact that I realize it is Ally that is filming me – she is recording my violation. What. The. Fuck? Why is she doing this? I try to holler at her but that’s hard to do with a cock down my throat.

Soon one of the other guys forces his cock into my mouth – I am being forced to suck two cocks at once. My mouth is being stretched and two cocks are alternatively being rammed down my throat. “Suck those cocks you fucking whore.” Someone slaps me hard on the ass. It stings and I let out a groan. Someone grabs my arms and pulls them back while someone else slaps my back hard. Someone behind me forces my head down on the cocks, forcing me to deep throat them. Another guy pulls me off the two cocks, sticks his cock in my mouth, grabs my hair on both sides of my head and roughly face fucks me. I tear up from the gagging. He grabs the back of my head and forces my face down onto his cock and holds it there – it shuts of my air supply and I can’t breathe. I try to fight it but with my arms tied behind my back I have nothing to use as leverage.

Using my hair again, someone yanks my head back and I have just enough time to gasp for air before another guy forces his cock into my face. I lose track of time as I am passed around from one cock to another, as my face and throat are violated over and over. My throat has gone numb, and I can taste blood, though I don’t know where it is from. I try to make this all stop as quickly as I can by actually trying to suck each guy off, hoping that the sooner I get them off, the sooner the attack will end. Eventually, a positive sign – one of the guys announces he’s coming and to “move out of the way so I can plaster the bitch.” He hits me in the mouth and on the cheek with his load. The others take turns forcing my mouth open while the each guy in turn jerks off into it. One guy cums with such force that he completely misses my mouth and his load hits me in the face. The others follow suit and jerk off into my mouth as I gag trying to swallow. The collar tightens even more so that I can hardly breathe. Eventually, they push me down onto the ground and choke me until I pass out again.

When I awake, my face is covered in dried cum, and I am tied to a rail in the barn with my hands still behind my back. My shoulders are incredibly sore, and I can’t get in a position to keep them from hurting. Ally and the four guys are seated on benches and chairs in the barn, talking. Once they sense I am awake, I am immediately set upon again. One guy has found a flat piece of wood, and begins slapping my tits and my inner thighs with it; the pain is intense, yet somehow erotic to me. He hits my clit with it sending a jerk and a stinging shiver through my body. I scream. Once again I am met with an indeterminate number of cocks and ordered to begin sucking. “Please, I am so sore…” My head is pulled backwards by the hair, and my mouth is penetrated by another huge cock. Again, Ally is videotaping. I try to ask her why she is doing this to me, but there’s too much in my mouth to allow me to say anything.

The guy with the board continues slapping my tits, my stomach, and my thighs. The pain is intense. One by one, the guys grab my hair and force their cocks down my throat. Eventually my gag reflex tires of interfering, and I soon find myself allowing my throat to take the full length of their cocks – my nose meets pubic hair on guys with cocks longer than most I’ve encountered before. My throat hurts but the thick saliva buildup allows their rods to go all the way down without much resistance. “Suck my cock, you fucking whore.” He shoves it all the way into my mouth and my head is held against his balls until I can’t breathe. I almost pass out before my head is pulled back. He slaps my face again and I gasp for a quick breath before the next cock penetrates my face. This continues over and over for what seems like an eternity. Fucking, slapping, fucking, slapping. My mouth is nothing more than a fuck hole to them at this point.

Soon, I am moved over to a post of some kind, and held with my back to it. The leash is used to tie me to the post by my neck so that I can’t move away from it. The guy with the longer cock sticks his cock in my mouth and face fucks me violently, shoving his cock all the way into my throat again. I gag again and spit up on him. He pulls out and slaps me, and orders me not to vomit on his cock. Then he resumes fucking my face. Each time he rams his cock down my throat, it forces my head to bang against the post. After a minute or so of this, he pulls out, turns around and forces his ass onto my face. He rubs his asshole all over my face and orders me to stick my tongue in his ass. I know if I don’t, I’ll be abused even more, so I halfheartedly comply. He tastes nasty, of sweat and……who knows what else. One of the guys pulls out a spider gag and forces my mouth open with it so that I can’t close it. Then they all take turns fucking the open hole and my throat.

Out of the blue I feel a shot of cum on the left side of my face as one of the guys hits his breaking point. The cum stings as it hits me in the eye and it messes up my contact. Over and over they take their turns fucking my face for what seems like an unending length of time. The back of my head feels bruised from all of the banging against the post. I still wonder why Ally is doing this. What have I done to her or say to her to make her help these assholes rape me? Did they threaten her? Is she doing it willingly? Or…..is this my “surprise?”

After a few more minutes of this, I am dragged around the room by my arms and hair and laid face down over an old bench of some kind. Someone slaps my ass several times really hard, and I sense something attempting to penetrate my asshole. I try to squeeze it shut. I can’t turn around to see what is going on because I am being face-fucked again. I hear someone spit and I feel the impact of it on my asshole and once again someone tries to push something into it (a finger, perhaps?). I mumble and try to fight it by pulling back, but someone pulls me off the cock I am on and slaps me again. He spits in my face and tells me to shut the fuck up and take it like the whore that I am. Soon I feel something larger invading my ass. I can tell it is isn’t a cock, so maybe it is just more fingers. They go deep, stretching my ass until it stings. Apparently, he tires of that and sticks his cock into my pussy and begins fucking me. Hard. It occurs to me that I am wet – there was no dryness, no pain when he penetrated me. What the fuck? How can that be? The guy with the board is swatting my ass with it again, and it stings. After a few minutes, the guy fucking my pussy pulls out and another one takes its place. This one is bigger and its owner is certainly no less violent with his thrusts. The guy who was in my pussy sticks a finger or something into my asshole. I try to fight but can’t. He spits on my back and tells me to enjoy the ride.

One of the guys lies down, and I am pulled off the bench over on top of him. He sticks his cock into my soaking wet pussy (why am I wet?), and I feel another guy come up behind me and grab my ass. He spreads my ass and forces his cock into my asshole all the way to the hilt. I feel like I am going to explode from the fullness and I try to scream out in pain. Another guy slaps me and tells me “for the last time” to shut the fuck up, and forces his cock into my face again. I am being forcefully penetrated in all three holes. After a few minutes of this, the guy in my ass pulls out and is replaced by another guy. The guy fucking my face pulls out and is replaced by the guy who was just in my ass. I gag at the thought of where that cock had just been but don’t have time to react. “Suck your ass off my cock, you piece of shit.” The guy beneath me reaches up and bites my nipples, and slaps my tits. His thrusts into my pussy continue as the guys take turns fucking me in the ass, and then the mouth. My arms are in excruciating pain from being tied behind my back and my neck hurts from being held up by the collar around it. One guy announces that he’s fixing to cum. The cock in my mouth is withdrawn and I see a huge spurt of cum headed straight for my face. It hits me in the eyes and nose, as I try to dodge the shot to no avail.

After a few more excruciating minutes one of the other guys announce that he, too, is cumming. He moves around and continues jerking off until he splatters my face with cum. The one fucking my pussy continues until he cums inside me, almost at the same time the guy in my ass cums inside me as well. He withdraws and the guy underneath me throws me off to the side of him. One of the guys grabs my face, forces his cock back into it, and tells one of the other guys to tighten up the collar. “I want her to remember this cock.” The last thing I remember is being unable to breathe while having a cock rammed into my throat. I feel a sting in my neck again and everything goes dark.

As I wake up it is daylight. I have no clue what day it is, where I am, how long I’ve been out. I detect the distinct odor of dried urine, and realize that I had apparently been pissed on after they were through fucking me. I don’t see or hear anyone, and I am deathly afraid to move for fear that there’s more to come. I begin to sob and wonder what Ally has done to me – this was not part of our bargain. As I gather my senses, I realize that my arms are still bound behind me, but I am no longer tied to anything. I sit up and take stock of my situation. I am naked, covered in dried cum and urine, and terribly, terribly sore in every muscle in my body, especially my jaws. I get up and begin walking, somewhere, anywhere. My eyes are crusted over and I only have one contact in place, so I can’t see very well. I just want to go home. I want to go home and find out why Ally violated my trust. I began walking down the dirt road that leads from the barn I’ve been in. I hear a car approaching me from behind and I turn and run toward it – finally I’ve been rescued from this nightmare. As I run to the drivers’ side and try to start screaming; I stop in my tracks as Ally rolls down the window, snaps a photo and tells me, “Get the fuck in, whore.” I crawl into the back seat praying that there’s no more abuse to come.

“Well, what did you think of my surprise for you, sugar lips? Did you like being used as a fuck toy?” I try to reply to her, but my throat is so sore and swollen from the cock abuse it took, and I can’t speak. I just look at her with a look that tells her that the surprise I have for her is going to be modified now. I’ll make this look like a cakewalk – she likes rough, I’ll give her something to remember – my mind is already at work.

As she drives down the road toward the house, I just lie on the seat thinking that this was so brutal, so primal, so…..erotic. I wonder if I’ll get to see the videotape.

Note Regarding The Art of Seduction

For the third time in as many days, I've gotten an anonymous comment about the fact that I "plagiarized" Robert Greene's book, "The Art of Seduction."

Apparently, some of you fuckwits don't bother to read from the beginning. I specifically made the point in the initial post that, unless otherwise specified and/or where I was commenting in the first person, all of the material was taken literally or paraphrased from his book. I not only gave credit to the book, but linked to the book on Amazon.com for those who wished to buy it.

How about each of you taking the time to actually read what I write from the beginning when it involves a series like that, rather than making yourselves look retarded?

Idiots.

Anyway, since I never got around to finishing it up, I just deleted the entire series that I had posted.

South of Nowhere Rocks!

If you've spent any time watching television or movie portrayals of teenagers questioning their sexuality, you've no doubt noticed how cheesy some of them can be. And those of you who went through the process, in high school especially, you know how painful that process can be.

Some portrayals of course can be better than others. Degrassi, Then Next Generation (D-TNG) has done a very good job of telling the story of Marco, the gay teen, as he came to grips with the fact that he was gay, the homophobia and bigotry he experienced, and how those around him came to accept him for the person he is, rather than who he is attracted to.

D-TNG also had a story line about the attraction between Alex and Paige. They flirted with a relationship for a while, but it never really went anywhere. I was disappointed with it, but the reality is that many girls (especially) go through brief periods of attraction and experimentation with other girls as they go through high school and decide that they arent gay or bisexual. Many fans of the show thought they made a great couple, but I knew that, given the nature of story lines on the show, they would'nt last.

Enter South of Nowhere. One of its primary story lines involves the developing relationship between Spencer Carlin (Gabrielle Christian) and Ashley Davies (Mandy Musgrave). Spencer and her family have just moved to Los Angeles from Ohio, and on her first day at school, she meets Ashley. Ashley is one of those "wrong side of the tracks" kinds of girls who is both tough on the outside and vulnerable on the inside. Their friendship starts out tenuously as you might expect on a television show about teens. Oh, and one other thing, Ashley is at least bisexual; she had a relationship with a boy (another character on the show, Aiden) and girls, a fact that she does not attempt to hide from Spencer.

Spencer on the other hand is a typical upper middle-class girl who doesn't know what to think of Ashley and her "I don't give a shit what others think" ways. Over time, she develops a trust with Ashley, though, and begins to come out of her shell. Her new environment has led her to question everything about her life, including her own sexuality. She confides to Ashley that she thinks she likes girls. And thus, a new relationship is born.

There are several really neat things about this story line.

First, Spencer's coming to terms with her own sexuality without Ashley's direct intervention. Ashley didn't seduce or pursue Spencer. They just hung out as friends, and the relationship progressed. It has been played just like the development of any usual boy-girl relationship, which is unlike most lesbian relationships that are done on TV for ratings or dramatic effect.

Second, Spencer seems to be legitimately troubled by her sexuality, and I know that this is one thing that a great many teens go through on a daily basis. She's said on many occasions that she just wants to be normal. The way she talks about it and addresses it is remarkably real in its presentation on the screen. She even goes out with a guy and tries to be sexual with him, but it just doesn't do anything for her. Though Mandy's portrayal of Ashley is somewhat cardboardish at times, what she tells Spencer about what constitutes "normal" is right on the money.

The third thing that I love about this is that this relationship is not one of those that was put on screen just to generate ratings like almost every other lesbian relationship I've seen. It is an integral and interesting part of the storyline.

Spencer's mother, Paula, is a Catholic woman who dislikes Ashley vehemently, and does everything she can to find other things for Spencer to do rather than hang out with Ashley. She hooks her up with a blind date; she brings in a close friend of Spencer's from back home, and makes no secret of her dislike for Ashley. Ashley is the "wrong kind of girl." Interestingly enough, Paula is having a quasi-affair with a coworker, so she's being disingenuous at best, hypocritical at worst. Spencer's father seems to understand and accept that there's more going on here than just your average friendship between his daughter and her friend.

Over the course of season one, Spencer and Ashley's (Spashley) relationship develops and they become closer and closer. On more than one occasion, they almost kiss, but something always gets in the way or interrupts them. Finally, in the season closer, they get to consummate their relationship.

As season two starts (this fall), Spencer wrestles with coming out, and how her parents and others might react. Her brother knows and pretty much treats her like shit, and even threatens to out her to her parents on a couple of occasions. Spencer reminds him that he's having a drug problem, and mom and dad won't be too happy to hear that, and manages to keep him in check.

At the beginning of the show (207) last Friday night, Spencer tells Ashley that she is tired of having to hide their relationship and is going to come out to her parents. Having been through this exact same thought process, I know how it feels to be there. Before she can out herself, though, the worst thing happens. Paula and her husband had returned from a business trip to bail Spencer's brother out of jail (his drug problem is catching up with him). They bring him home and Paula goes upstairs to check on everyone else. She walks into Spencer's room as she and Ashley are making out on the bed and freaks out. She grabs Ashley by the hair and pulls her out of the room and down the stairs and orders her out of the house. Over this is an audio track of Ashley reading from the closing scene of Romeo and Juliet. The presentation of the entire scene was very dramatic and very real and is perhaps one of the most heart-wrenching moments I have ever seen on TV. I literally felt numb when it was over.

When I first became aware of Spashley's relationship, I started searching out forums where the show is talked about. What I found truly amazed me. The show has thousands of fans, and the vast majority of them are other girls who are wrestling with their own feeling of being attracted to someone of the same gender. There is comment after comment after comment about how this show has helped them deal with their own confusion, helped them understand it, and/or help them decide to come out. Just about every one of them can empathize with what Spashley is going through, and the show, with its realistic presentation of the subject matter has made a difference in their lives on an individual basis. That is remarkable. Take for example the scene at the end of show 207 - tons of girls in the forums were discussing the fact that they cried and cried when they saw what happened, and many related stories about things similar to this happening to them.

I don't know where the Spashley story line will end up. I have been very impressed with the writing of the story line up to this point, and I know in talking with others that it has helped people in a very real way. TV doesn't get much better than that. I can only hope that Gabrielle and Mandy realize and understand the positive impact they are having on a great many teenagers in this country. This is desperately needed in this country today, where being gay or bisexual or even just questioning causes people to have to hide one of the most critical part of themselves and has such a negative effect on their personal esteem. What a sad commentary on so many levels.

If you get the chance, check out South of Nowhere on The-N Network (Noggin's nighttime counterpart). Or, if you get the chance, spend some time watching the episodes on YouTube (be sure and start at the very beginning, with episode 1, or you can get a Season 1 summary of Spashley HERE)


Technorati Tags: sexuality coming out bisexuality Spashley South of Nowhere

Caitlain's Corner, Version 2.0

As some of you have observed, I have been noticeably absent from my blog for a month or so. Taking five upper level courses tends to keep me busy in and of itself, but I've also been working diligently during this time on a brand new version of my sex education web site.

I am pleased to announce the release of Caitlain's Corner, Version 2.0.

Some of the updates include:

1. Better, more appropriate organization of the material
2. Expanded information on birth control options
3. Addition of historical information on sexuality
4. Better organized news presentation
5. Better search integration within the site itself
6. The site is more interactive, with polls, tests, etc.
7. Integration of a testing system that will users to keep track of their test scores (this one is still in progress as well).
8. Addition of a "curriculum" that can be followed to guide a user through all of the information presented on the site.
9. Allows for better management of the content (applies to me, but that is the major reason for the update to begin with! lol)

And perhaps most importantly, in my mind anyway, is a section I call the "Sex Law Information Center (SLIC)"

This section summarizes many of the laws in each of the states that have to do with sex as they related to you as a teenager or a young adult. For example, Age of Consent, whether or not you can get EC without a prescription, abortion restrictions, etc. For the age of consent, in most cases, I've even linked to the specific section of each state's laws that spell it out for you. What I have found out in doing research for this section is that just about every other AoC list out there is wrong is a great number of cases, and doesn't include things like whether or not it is legal for those under the AoC to have sex with each other (it is in most states).

Anyway, I hope you'll find the new design easier to use. I have a whole list of stuff I am working on to add to it, with the goal of making it the most comprehensive sex education site for folks our age (though the information is relevant to anyone of any age)!

If you have any suggestions about stuff I can add to it to make it better, feel free to e-mail me and let me know.

National Coming Out Day

October 11 is National Coming Out Day. Though I have long since come out to everyone who matters to me, I still reflect on having done that, especially with my parents. That ranks as one of the toughest decisions I've ever had ot make, though in retrospect it seems to anti-climactic now. In honor of NCOD, I thought I'd share with you the story behind my coming out to my parents.

After I had my first lesbian experience at age 15, I was petrified that I might be a lesbian. After that night, I spent the next couple of days agonizing over the fact that I might be gay – I didn’t want that. As I went learned more about those aspects of sexuality, of course, I became comfortable enough in my own skin to embrace my bisexuality, at least internally. I sure wasn’t about to announce it to the world, though. Not then. Even though I didn’t really care about what others thought of me, I still knew that there was a stigma attached to being something other than straight. A dichotomy, much.

Only within the past two years have I come to the realization that it is terribly common for teenagers to question their sexual orientation as they progress through adolescence. I would give anything to go back to my days as a freshman and have that knowledge. I often wonder what good I could’ve done at my school had I understood just how pervasive these feelings are, and been able to channel my experience into something positive that might have helped others deal with it. Would I have felt comfortable being out as a bisexual in high school? I think I would have, though I don’t know if I would’ve been a force for change. I was not really a change agent in high school.

I was one of my school’s Alpha females, and therefore relatively immune to the slut-bashing and back-stabbing that afflicted other girls. Not that some people didn’t refer to me as a slut (what girl has gone through high school without being called a slut by someone?), but as an opinion leader and one of the more popular and gregarious females, the slut term would not have alienated me from friends and others like it would a girl who was not in such a position and/or didn’t spend a lot of time in the social circles that permeated the hallways. Had I been out, would things have been different?

I do think that, had I been out as a bisexual it might have elevated the discourse about the subject of differentiated sexual orientations in my school. Today, I would relish such a role. I cannot honestly say that I would have then, given my mindset at that time of my life, however. To this date, my old high school does not have a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) club or organization. I guess as a Bible Belt school that probably should not surprise me, but it does.

After my public kiss with Nikki, word circulated about “us” but, although we spent a lot of time together in school and outside, it never reached the crescendo of a full-blown rumor. I suppose there were simply too many others to focus on at the time (my graduating class alone was about 350 people, with almost 1,600 in all four grades). There were people who were rumored to be gay or lesbian, but it wasn’t a subject that was discussed, except when someone was taunted or harassed. I have to believe the presence and availability of a GSA would’ve helped some people on both sides of the spectrum deal with that in a much more mature manner.

Regardless, I have expended quite a bit of thought about what could’ve been. A waste of time, perhaps, but I am trying to takes steps now to help those who might be in just such a position today.

My own coming out story is not terribly painful, certainly not as much as what many face. Not long after my sexual interlude with Nikki I confided in my sister – we had always been very close and shared just about everything with each other. Though I didn’t know it at the time, she, too, was going through a questioning process (she also later came to grips with her bisexuality). She was very accepting, and I’d expected no less.

My fascination with female-female sex led to my “coming out” with a vengeance to some of my friends. Kelsey was the first beneficiary of that by way of my “seduction” of her, and through her and Nikki, on to a handful of other girls at school. By the time I had graduated from high school, I had been responsible for providing ten other girls with their first lesbian sexual experiences. Some of them I know considered themselves bisexual, and one went on to be lesbian the last I’d heard. None of them came out publicly in high school, though. It was a secret shared among and between those of us involved.

Coming out to my parents was another story, however, and it turned out different than I ever imagined it would. Nikki and I remained close friends in the years following our sexual encounter on New Year’s Eve. It was not uncommon at all for us to come home and jump in the bed and spend the afternoon enjoying each other until about time for my parents to get home. It wasn’t something we did every day or even every week, but we did do it fairly frequently. We were best friends, and as best I could sense, we never outwardly showed any differently than any other pair of good friends.

In May of 2004, my parents were out of town on a business trip, and Nikki spent the weekend over at my house. As usual, we spent the entire time laying out sunning ourselves and swimming in our pool. On that particular Saturday, we had sex in just about every conceivable position, on every piece of furniture, and in every way imaginable. To this day, it still ranks as the day on which I’d had the most non-self induced orgasms (seven, to be exact). At one point, as we lay next to each other, Nikki asked me if I thought we might be soulmates. As I stared into her eyes, I thought to myself that is the perfect explanation of how I feel about the closest friend I’d ever had – just….perfect.

Though I’d had sex with a number of girls, I’d never given any serious thought to dating one or becoming involved in a romantic relationship with one – it just never crossed my mind. Neither of us had ever brought it up. With this question, though, Nikki moved our relationship into uncharted territory. Our relationship had that intensely deep, honest, emotional, rhythmic and connected pulse that exlemplified what I’d felt a perfect relationship between two lovers should have. In that moment, I knew that Nikki and I shared a unique bond – one that I wanted to pursue as a part of a legitimate, public couple. Nikki agreed. Since we were graduating from high school, being publicly seen as a couple would not be an issue – not there anyway. Our parents might be another story, however. If we weren’t going to hide our relationship it was going to be necessary to come out to them, and neither of us was looking forward to it.

We elected to tell my parents first, and decided that we’d do it over dinner sometime that week after they’d gotten back. As that day approached, I rehearsed over and over in my mind how I wanted to break the news to them. I conferred with friends, both “real” ones and some online about how to do it. Anyone who has ever made the decision to come out to his/her family knows that angst that you endure as you try to decide how to tell them, when to tell them, how they will react, etc. I was perhaps more nervous about this than just about anything else I’d ever done.

I asked my mom if I could invite Nikki to dinner with us, and she said of course. Nikki spent almost as much time at our house as I did lately, and she pretty much had a standing invitation to participate in anything we did as a family. She’d become like another daughter to my mom. I don’t know if she picked up on the oddity of me asking if it’d be acceptable to come to dinner this time or not. As we sat down to dinner (low-fat lasagna, salad, and garlic bread – yummy!), I could sense that Nik and I were both showing our nervousness. Though only subtly, it was still palpable.

Finally, I worked up the courage to just spit it out. “Mom, dad, I need to tell you guys something important. As you probably know, Nikki and I have been very good friends for a number of years. I think you ought to know that it has progressed to more than just….friends. She is, like, a real girlfriend, like a boyfriend would be.” As they stopped eating to absorb the information, I added, “I like both boys and girls; I’m bisexual.” My parents looked at each other for a second, and my mother stated, “I think we just kind of assumed that you two were that close for a while now.”

As I processed that information, it occurred to me that she was telling me that they had known (or at least believed) that I was bisexual for at least some period of time. [They knew I wasn’t a lesbian because I’d had several boyfriends.] After some conversation, my mother finally told me that she had just assumed for the past few months (since my previous boyfriend had moved) that Nikki and I were a couple, since we’d spent so much time together. I was relieved and shocked at the same time. Relieved because, obviously if they thought we were a couple and hadn’t voiced any issues with it, they must’ve felt comfortable with it. Shocked because they’d never even hinted that they thought we were together that way. We had not acted any differently than any other pair of best friends insofar as I could tell. As much as I pride myself on being able to read others, I had to wonder what kind of signs we’d been giving off that allowed them to detect what was going on. Of course, in reality, we weren’t an official couple until that past weekend, so whatever those signs were, they were misread to a certain extent. By that time, Nikki was already working as a dancer, so we even wondered aloud to ourselves later if they had picked up on that. We decided that they hadn’t though. Hopefully. Heh.

Throughout the evening’s “conversation,” my father never really uttered a word. And to this day I’ve never discussed my bisexuality with him directly. I honestly don’t know if he’s totally comfortable with it or not. My mother allowed that they’d had conversations with Nikki’s parents about us being so close to one another. As it would turn out, when we went to talk with them, they, too, had suspected for some time that our friendship was more than platonic. Fortunately for us, they also appeared to be as accepting of Nikki’s bisexuality as my parents appeared to be. Nikki and I have each had conversations at length with our respective mothers about it, and both have been extremely supportive in every way possible. I sometimes cry thinking about that. It could just as easily been the other way around.

After dinner that night, Nikki and I went out back and embraced for several minutes, crying with each other, and relishing the fact that we could now be “real.” We didn’t have to hide our feelings for each other any longer in our own space, our own homes. I can’t begin to tell you how incredibly freeing and how intense this was. In the end, all of the anxiety we went through debating about whether to tell them, how to tell them, how they’d react, etc., proved to be for naught. And, thus far, we have yet to encounter anyone who knows about us who has expressed any sense of disgust or disapproval about it. Not that it would matter – our relationship exists for us, not anyone else. A big “fuck you” to the politicians and others who’d deny us the right to marry into that relationship if we wished to go that route, though. Someday, soon perhaps, that will change.

I lament the fact that coming out, generally speaking, is much easier for girls than it is for guys. I think we all know why it is like this, and I won’t go into it right now. But, suffice it to say, that is a double standard that we could use a lot less of (along with many others). Coming out is rarely easy, but doing so in my case has been a freeing experience. I wish that were the case for everyone. The fact that it isn’t is what keeps me from suggesting to everyone that they come out, even on National Coming Out Day.

Technorati Tags: sex coming out bisexuality sexuality National Coming Out Day

Let's Talk

This post is aimed pretty much at those of you with children out there.

October is "Let's Talk" Month, according to Advocates for Youth, a widely respected sex education advocacy group.

Let's Talk is a program aimed toward encouraging schools, community groups, parents and others to talk to kids about their reproductive health. As you know, one of my greatest passions right now is ensuring that kids have access to legitimate, honest, and reliable information about their sexuality and sexual health. My new site, Caitlain's Corner is one part of that. I can only do so much, however, and there's only so much the schools can do. Ultimately, it is as much up to you as a parent as it is your child's school or anyone else to make sure that they are as educated about sex as they can be.

The Let's Talk Program presents materials and guidance about how to accomplish this on several different fronts:

Each year, Let’s Talk Month emphasizes the importance of conversations about sex between young people and the adults they trust. Schools, communities of faith, community-based agencies, media, and businesses, can take the leadership in providing activities, resources, and educational programs to support: 1) parents or other care-givers and youth in talking together about sex; and 2) youth in making healthy, responsible decisions about sex. Working together, parents and other adults in the community can provide the information and skills to prepare young people to become healthy adults … and the parents of tomorrow’s children.


Providing children and youth with accurate, reliable sex education is an important responsibility. Studies reveal that most kids prefer learning about sex from their parents. But many parents are uncomfortable with this particular responsibility and need support and encouragement to take it on. Parents need to know that they do not need to be experts in order to talk with their children about sex. Parents also need to know that they do indeed share their values and beliefs about sex with young people. By talking, parents can be sure their kids receive accurate messages about the parents’ values. By not talking, parents also share values, but not necessarily the ones they want to share. (Verbiage from AFY's Site)

Teens in this country have the highest pregnancy rates and STI transmission rates in the industrial world. The only way this is going to get any better is to make sure kids are getting the facts about sex and how to prevent pregnancy and diseases. Do your part!

While you may not have the wherewithal to gather a community group to address these kinds of issues, as a parent you can and should talk to your children about sex. And by talk I mean more than just telling them to say "no." The vast majority of kids will have sex before they graduate from high school. Your child may not be in that group, but then again, they might.

If you don't talk to your child about sex, perhaps in the hope that they won't find out about it, they will "learn" from their friends, the Internet, television or the movies, maybe even porn about what sex is. Think about what that means. Talking about sex with a child can be daunting, I don't doubt that. Having your child come to you and tell you she is pregnant or he has gotten a girl pregnant will present a much more difficult set of challenges for you, though. Be proactive, rather than reactive. You didn't let them go out driving your car without teaching them about the rules of the road first (I hope).

Another thing you can do is find otu what kind of sex education your child is getting in school. Most sex ed programs these days are based on the "Abstinence Only" curricula developed by many faith-based organizations. These programs have been widely publicized as providing biased, inaccurate and misleading information about sex, thereby harming your child. If your school system uses such a curriculum let them know that you prefer that your child receive honest, reliable information about not only how to say no, but how to protect themselves in the event they do decide to become sexually active. Anyone can tell a child to say no - that is the easy (and naive) way out. The rela responsbility comes from teaching children to make their own informed decisions. That is what comprehensive sex education does.

Both AFY and I have information and materials on our web sites that offer guidance to you regarding how to talk to your child about sex. Please avail yourself of them and perhaps help keep your child from becoming a statistic.

Caitlain's Corner's Parent Information Page

Advocates for Youth Let's Talk Page

Addtionally, No Place Like Home offers excellent age-appropriate discussion information about sex for kids from age three all the way up through high school.

There are also several books you can read that will help you broach the subject and discuss it rationally. I've read each of these and can attest that they are reliable and accurate, and will provide you with the information and guidance you need to reach out to your children about sex and sexuality.

Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know, But Were Afraid They'd Ask About Sex

Family Outing. A Guide to the Coming Out Process for Gays, Lesbians, & Their Families

How Can We Talk About That? Overcoming Personal Hangups so You Can Teach Kids About Sex

What's Happening to My Body, A Growing Up Guide for Parents & Daughters

What's Happening to My Body, A Growing Up Guide for Parents & Sons

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